Do Nice Guys Finish Last?

I read this article on yahoo about why nice guys really do finish last and another one about guys who don't get second dates. The article basically explained that Nice Guys give up their "power" when dating a woman. I think they meant their "backbone". They cater to her every need and bore her to death. Nice Guys are just that... nice. They compliment you, open doors, answer every time you call, and will practically stop what they're doing at the drop of a hat for you. Who wants someone who acts as if they don't have anything else going on? Being courteous is great and all, but if that's it, a woman will toss your status into friend zone.

Here's where they tend to make their mistakes:

When it comes to internet dating, the first phase is getting to know the person emotionally. You send winks, read their profile, send email and converse through IMs and phone calls. Nice Guys avoid the online flirting. They might mention that you're pic is cute, but that's it. It seems great at first 'cause they're trying to get to know the real you. Once you've decided they are not a psycho and you two have a good amount in common, you plan to meet. At this phase, you're getting to know they more intimately or physically.

Of all the dates I've had, the "men" who scored second or third dates were the ones who were confident, risk-takers. They'd reach over to hold my hand, tell me how attractive (not cute) I look and flirt some more. Nice guys sit across from the table, barely make eye contact, have little to say, aren't sure how to flirt and/or keep their hands to themselves. It surprises me that when people go on an interview, they'll prep themselves by doing research about the company, think of questions to asks and other things to say. But on a date, people just show up and see what happens. Moving on.

Halfway through the date, a woman is accessing and processing all things going on and is measuring the physical chemistry level. By the end of a date, she has already decided whether a first kiss is in order. Many people have their rules and thoughts on kissing on a first date. My take is that if you don't want to kiss your date, then it ends in a hug. And if it ends in a hug, that person is in the "friend-zone" whether or not you realize it. I've had dates like that and the second meeting makes me realize more that those guys feel more like friends than anything else. And you don't ever end up being friends because how can you hang out with someone who obviously likes you more than that? In the end, every woman wants to feel desired and Nice Guys don't capitalize on that.

I'm perfectly fine with the amount of friends I have. The real question is "how do I repel nice guys?" I can't come up with a good solution. If you act like a bitch, then they leave you alone. But then you risk repelling all guys. The only possible solution is to identify them sooner so no one gets too attached. Anyone else out there dealing with this dilemma? Seems to be quite an epidemic.

(picture courtesy of The Frisky)
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The Life of a Car Salesman: Part 2

Part two of this story is just as interesting. This undercover car salesman then works at a low pressure, used car dealership. There are a ton more women working there. Everyone is wearing polo shirts with the company logo instead of the basic white dress shirt, gold watch and slicked back hair. During the interview the manager lets him know that "... we won't ask you to do anything that conflicts with your core beliefs." (e.g., no more lying or cheating customers). Sounds great, right?

He gets offered the job and sent to a training seminar that talks about a different system of selling cars. It's called "Needs Satisfaction Selling" and a sales person would basically find out what the customer is looking for in a car. If it's safety, then they'll highlight all the safety features of a vehicle. Makes sense, right? I don't remember being asked what I was looking for in a car when I was car shopping.

Then the job begins. He spends most of his time waiting, even more so than he was at the other dealership. That's the main problem. You get to keep your morals and values, but you'll have a hard time bringing in the dough. The good thing is when you do help someone find the car of their need, you'll feel like you made a difference instead of cheating them and leaving them with payments they may not be able to handle.

If there's anything to learn from this it's don't:

1. Go car shopping if you're just looking. Sales people don't wanna deal with lookieloos.

2. Go without doing some research on the car you want. Make sure it's what you actually want.

3. Feel obligated to buy a car because you said yes to the deal or because the salesman sob story you read here. If you don't want it, aren't happy with it, just walk away.

If you already know the car you want and don't need a test drive, here's one simple method. Just find the invoice price of the car then call the fleet manager of the dealership to make a deal. Hopefully, this article will help people to save themselves a huge headache. Til next time...
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The Life of a Car Salesman: Part 1

So this morning I was getting dressed and ready to go out. I had my socks on, tied on one shoe and as I reached for the other I got spooked. I saw a "many legged bug" crawl from out of the wall and toward me. My reaction surprised even me. I screamed and jumped on my bed. Yup, you read it right. I acted like a 1950s housewife who just spotted a mouse. Except, I happened to have a broom near me and I killed it. I feel like the bugs around here found out I'm moving and decided to freak me the hell out!

On another note, I was reading an article about a former car salesman who worked undercover for Edmunds to investigate car salesman tactics. It was pretty long, but very informative. I definitely feel some sympathy car salesmen but it doesn't make me wanna stop at a dealership and feel ripped off. Basically, at high pressured dealerships, the salesmen are almost always men. Some of them were ex-cons or former cops, they had the typical sleazy slick backs and gold watches, and were fast talkers.

All the tactics were pretty cut throat. Everyone who walks into the dealership is forced into buy a car. If you go in and wanna discuss the total cost of a car, you get roped into focusing on the monthly payments. That's where they get ya. They usually start with $300. I remember when I went car shopping and guy told me the payments would be that much. I was shocked. When I did my math the actual amount should have been around $250. So then he offers to lower the price to please me. He wrote down $298 and I felt like I was being treated like an idiot. Most people who don't do their research beforehand might have settled for the $300 and paid $2,000 to $4,000 more than the invoice.

Of course, his manager comes over to see how things are going after I show my disapproval of the cost. This is another tactic. A newer salesman will have a "closer" to help them seal the deal. If you ask they'll also appraise your car. Doing that is like going to your campus book store instead of half.com to sell you book. It's always less then it's really worth. Once you agree, then comes the test drive. They tell you how great the car is so that you feel excited and wanna take it home.

You get inside and head into the F&I (finance and insurance) office. By then you might feel surprised by the total cost including the warranty, interest rate, and other fees. You might also feel obligated to pay it all because you already said yes, but don't be. Apparently, you can say no to the deal up until you leave with the car.

These kind of salesmen mostly make their money off of the commission from each sale. They spend their mornings standing out front waiting for a customer to drive in. They'll call people who've had their cars serviced at the dealership and even those who brought cars there only five years ago. To top it off they have a boss breathing down their neck about a lack of sales. Sometimes, the guys in F&I change things around so the salesmen end up with nothing. It's tough, but there's still more to read. Tune in for the next part of "The Life of a Car Salesman".

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Monday Morning Bleh

Y'know, everyone has fears, but they don't always come true. This morning was not the case for me. Ever since I saw arachnophobia, one of my many bug related fears would be that a spider would land on me in the shower. And this morning it happened. I was drying off, when something dark hit my arm and landed in the tub. Noticing what it was by my feet, I freaked and my flight response kicked in. I swear, I almost broke my neck when I leaped out of the tub and onto the slippery floor. While holding on to the sink to brace myself, I remembered wet feet and smooth tile floor didn't mix. I'm still in one piece, the spider's dead but everytime I get in the tub that moment is gonna run through my head. What a crappy way to start the morning. I hope the rest of my day turns out better.

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The Lunch Thief

I was telling one of my housemates about a really funny yet disgusting story. It happened about a year ago when I had an office job in a large 3 floor building. It was early in the morning, still breakfast time. I decided to go down to the cafeteria and purchase one of those bottled smoothie drinks. About an hour passes and I'm getting ready to go down again for lunch. So, I toss my drink in the communal fridge. It was already open and had a straw that I chewed on inside so I figured it would be fine without my name plastered all over it.

I get back from lunch, head to the fridge and look inside to find that it's missing. You can just imagine the look of confusion when I keep poking my head in there. Then I thought "maybe someone threw it out." I looked in the empty trash and didn't see there. Some disgusting and desperate person actually drank it. They maybe forgot their lunch, didn't have cash on them, saw it was open, had a chewed up straw and thought, "what the hell, it's still good." I will never forget that day. I never used the fridge since then.

There's usually about one person in every office who pilfer their coworkers lunches. These people are down right rude and have mooching and boundary issues. The worst is when they complain about how it taste, like they ordered it and it wasn't made to their liking. Anyone else out there dealing with a lunch thief?

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On The Move... Again

Can't believe after 5 months living across Manhattan, I gotta move again. I've exhausted my saving and have to move back to good 'ole South Jersey. What a headache to have to pack again and reorganize another room. It won't be too bad because half of my things are still in bins and boxes.

I can't tell you how many resumes I flooded inboxes with, made copies of and revised. I applied almost everywhere: 3D studios, Web Design companies, internships, retail and even office/receptionist jobs. I'm pretty sure I must have sent out at least 40 resumes a week (which is insane). I actually did an online app for JCPenneys and apparently I don't have what it takes to fold clothes, ring up customers, and answer simple questions. RIDICULOUS! Anywho, I have a new plan to break into the 3D Animation field:

Plan A: Create 3 more projects to place in my demo reel. Send them out to specific companies and see if they have any internships or entry level position, or anything that would suit my skills.

Plan B: Take another 3D Training course to further my skills and talent. Then follow Plan A.

Plan C: Win the Lottery (it could happen).

I'm really hoping on Plan C to work out first. How awesome would that be. Speaking of 3D training, Saturday is my last day. My final project, the dancing M&M is due. You all will be able to see it then. I did much better than the first time I tried to make an M&M dance. It looked more like a robot than anything else. I'm happy with the way it turned out.

I actually a little glad that I'm moving. I'll be heading back to where things are more familiar and less Korean. Did I mention I live in Koreatown? Yup, nothing but noodle shops and Korean barbeque restaurants. At least I can say I tried. I moved and tried to make my dream of working in the city happen.

Don't worry, I'll save up and try again next summer. Anyone else out there trying to fulfill their dreams in this rough economy?

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Obama Not-So-Birthday Bash

So, a few days ago was President Obama's birthday (August 4th) and it came and went without all the hub-bub. They made a big deal about everything else. I guess this means people aren't all that excited by Obama anymore. His "new toy" feel has worn off. We were so focused on his first Presidential speech, his first trip outside the US, his first poop in the White House, etc.

I suppose we're moving on to other things, more important things. Like "who's gonna get MJ's kids" or "will Kathy Griffin ever get off the D-list?" On a good note, the unemployment rate is slowly dropping. Apparently, most of the mass layoffs have already taken place. Which means pretty soon jobs will be looking to hire again (fingers crossed).

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