I read this article on yahoo about why nice guys really do finish last and another one about guys who don't get second dates. The article basically explained that Nice Guys give up their "power" when dating a woman. I think they meant their "backbone". They cater to her every need and bore her to death. Nice Guys are just that... nice. They compliment you, open doors, answer every time you call, and will practically stop what they're doing at the drop of a hat for you. Who wants someone who acts as if they don't have anything else going on? Being courteous is great and all, but if that's it, a woman will toss your status into friend zone.
Here's where they tend to make their mistakes:
When it comes to internet dating, the first phase is getting to know the person emotionally. You send winks, read their profile, send email and converse through IMs and phone calls. Nice Guys avoid the online flirting. They might mention that you're pic is cute, but that's it. It seems great at first 'cause they're trying to get to know the real you. Once you've decided they are not a psycho and you two have a good amount in common, you plan to meet. At this phase, you're getting to know they more intimately or physically.
Of all the dates I've had, the "men" who scored second or third dates were the ones who were confident, risk-takers. They'd reach over to hold my hand, tell me how attractive (not cute) I look and flirt some more. Nice guys sit across from the table, barely make eye contact, have little to say, aren't sure how to flirt and/or keep their hands to themselves. It surprises me that when people go on an interview, they'll prep themselves by doing research about the company, think of questions to asks and other things to say. But on a date, people just show up and see what happens. Moving on.
Halfway through the date, a woman is accessing and processing all things going on and is measuring the physical chemistry level. By the end of a date, she has already decided whether a first kiss is in order. Many people have their rules and thoughts on kissing on a first date. My take is that if you don't want to kiss your date, then it ends in a hug. And if it ends in a hug, that person is in the "friend-zone" whether or not you realize it. I've had dates like that and the second meeting makes me realize more that those guys feel more like friends than anything else. And you don't ever end up being friends because how can you hang out with someone who obviously likes you more than that? In the end, every woman wants to feel desired and Nice Guys don't capitalize on that.
I'm perfectly fine with the amount of friends I have. The real question is "how do I repel nice guys?" I can't come up with a good solution. If you act like a bitch, then they leave you alone. But then you risk repelling all guys. The only possible solution is to identify them sooner so no one gets too attached. Anyone else out there dealing with this dilemma? Seems to be quite an epidemic.
(picture courtesy of The Frisky)
----------------
Now playing: Green Day - Nice Guys Finish Last
via FoxyTunes
Posts
